Emmanuel

These last few days have been pretty intense. It's like the rawness of grief has blown away all reserved politeness. The church family has been drawn together so closely; supporting and loving each other powerfully. God has been at work.

Take Friday night as an example. We run a Friday night event for young people called LIFE. Liam's preach about Annie's death affected so many people, from those who knew her to those who didn't. As a leader, I felt a whole lot useless. I've never lost anybody close to me and in all honesty I didn't know what to say. I hated seeing so many people so devastated, it has a way of weighing on your heart, like some of their pain gets deposited onto you. And I would gladly take some of that pain if it lessened theirs but it doesn't. One girl was in floods of tears but refused to let me pray for her. There was so little that I could do to help.

However, it wasn't about me or what I could do. It was about Jesus. As the worship started I saw grief turned into passion for God. I have never seen that many people worshipping at LIFE. I think, for some of them, this was the first time they had worshipped God. Their pain was poured into praise and singing and this was more healing than any kind words of comfort could ever be.

What's more, we do not serve a God who is remote and distant. Friday night I sensed the presence of God everywhere. The only time I have ever felt Him so powerfully was right before I became a Christian. I could sense Jesus walking among us. I felt Him standing behind the worship team as they sang, feeding His strength into them. I felt Him among those who mourned, mourning with them. It's difficult to explain how I knew it was Jesus but I just did. I was trembling, my heart was thudding. I was both overwhelmed and humbled by the fact that He chose to be here with us. One word has been resounding through my mind the last few days: Emmanuel. Emmanuel means 'God with us' and is one of Jesus' many titles. So often people ask 'where is God in our sorrow?' But I have seen where He is; He is here with us. He choses to be here with us, He choses to share in our sufferings, He chose that when He died on the cross for us.

I know now that the fact that all I can do at the moment is pray isn't something I should be frustrated by. God is forcing me to recognise my uselessness without Him and making me lean on Him in prayer, asking Him to comfort all who grieve, because if I could do it by myself then I would be God. And I'm not.

God is God, He is very good. And so we worship Him, whether we have pain or joy in our hearts.