These days I find myself being one of those people who actually rather likes exams. I mean, before the exam life is horrible, you stress out, and panic about revision, but once you're in there, it's all calm. Just you and an exam paper and a pen and you do the best you can.
I wasn't like this last time. Last summer I freaked; and failure is what freaked me.
Because I was surrounded by pressure. People who love me, who mean well, but who all say the same thing. "You need to do well." That was what ran through my mind as I sat in my exams last time.
"What if I disappoint them?"
"What if I don't get my grades?"
"What if I mess up my future?"
"What if...?"
"What if...?"
but, here's the thing: God loves me
He has a plan for my life. Something wonderful and amazing.
Proverbs 3:6 promises us, "In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths."
So, if I trust in God, there is NOTHING that I can do that is so bad that my life will be ruined forever. God is bigger than that. Whatever knocks me down, He will pick me up again and put me on the right path.
Last night at church, a friend was praying for me when she saw something. She told me, it was like my soul was shattered with bullet wounds, but that the Holy Spirit had come and made me new again, healed me on the inside.
I could feel it too, like there was light and joy inside of me.
I know that no matter how many new bullet wounds tear my soul, Jesus will always heal me. Once again, I have been shown that I am not alone, not ever. So, why should I be afraid of what might happen?
"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8
Exam panic?
I think I can handle it now :)