In the Beginning

Cupped in warm hands,
Folded in tender fingers,
Sweetly crafted,
From love.
He melded stardust,
Into soft pink flesh,
With glassy eyes,
Hollow inside.

Lips lean forwards, part slowly, breath of life from lungs past tongue and teeth, sighing out of mouth and into me.

I open curious eyes.
Alive.

A Story

Inhibitions have vanished under the smoky lights. Bodies pulse vibrantly, captured by the booming rhythms. They seem so free, I envy them. I want to see the world how they see it. A blur of colour and light and sound spinning before my eyes. I want to fly. Desire and longing shimmer in my veins, pulling me slowly but surely from my well-worn path of safety. A boy stands before me. Even in the shadowy light, I know who he is. His face is so familiar; it’s been the entirety of my thoughts for months. The curve of his smile consumes my heart and I am running, running into the darkness, trusting him to catch me.

But he can’t. And that’s when I realise. The people around me aren’t flying. They’re falling. My beautiful boy is just a broken soul who can’t even catch himself. I’m colliding with everyone. I smash into them with dizzying speed. I can feel my mind shattering and I’m scared. Control has crumbled. A bottle of WKD fuels the desperate screams of a girl beside me. A boy and a girl whip past me, clinging to each other with such fierceness as they fall. I can’t see, I can’t think, I can’t feel. Nothing. Then two words explode from my lips: “SAVE ME!”. I scream them to the sky.

He hears; He comes. With his sword of shimmering light, He obliterates the chains of my mind. I know Him. He feels like warmth on the first day of spring, like hope in a new beginning, like fire and joy.

I’m back on the dance floor and the world has stopped spinning. I’ve been caught by the true and everlasting God. Safe and loved, I breathe deep to calm myself. But all around people continue to plummet. Broken, lost, alone. I can see the pain in His eyes as he watches them, and His pain becomes mine. I have to help them.

Suddenly, a sword of light appears in my hands. It’s not as bright and brilliant as His, but it is there nonetheless. It comes from Him. And I know why He has given it to me. For one tiny instant, I am scared, but then love floods me. His love. It’s running in my veins, coursing through my blood. It gives me strength, courage and protection. I grasp the sword firmly and look up at Him. I am ready.

Love

Sometimes it can get to so easy to become caught up in the little things.
I haven't opened my bible in forever,
I just don't feel like praying,
I gossip,
I bitch,
I swear,
I am such a bad person.

We need to remember the big things:
"And Jesus answered: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.' This is the first and most important command. And the second command is like the first: 'Love your neighbor as you love yourself.' All the law and the writings of the prophets depend on these two commands."

We need to plant these commands in our heart, and from that, all else will come. It will be so easy to follow the little rules once we are living out the big rules.

Keep faithful, love God, love others; NOTHING is more important than this.
It's not always easy, but it is always rewarding...

Mathematics

You know the basic rules of maths. 2+2=4 You never question that.
When somebody asks you a maths question you don't know, do you suddenly doubt the very existence of maths? No. You simply accept that you don't know maths well enough to know the answer.
A 5 year old gets that they just aren't able to do quadratic equations. So why can't we accept that we aren't wise enough to comprehend all of God.
We know that God is good but when somebody throws an earthquake or cancer or floods into the equation, suddenly we start calling the basic rules into question.
Why do we do this?
God IS good and 2+2=4
That stuff doesn't change.

Gloss

Lipglossed lips,
so smooth they shine.
Pink Perfection;
these lips of mine.

So how can it be
from their beauty spills,
words that cause
so many ills?

Words of anger,
born from pain,
they just come tumbling
from my brain.

I think there's something
wrong in me.
Left broken,
-not that you could see.

Lipglossed lips,
with much to hide.
What dark perfection;
these lips of mine.

Snow and Psalms

The snow makes England look like.... Narnia.
And it's so beautiful.
I'm naturally a summer girl, I adore sunshine. However I can easily put up with grey skies when a blanket of white snow settles.

I mean just take a look at what happened to the big tree
outside my house:


And the postbox:


However, many SILLY people grumbled about the snow, and how after five days of it, they would rather be at school.
I told these people, something a very wise friend once said to me, "We've had five days of snow, but we've had 12 years of school; I know which one I'm more bored of..."
However, now it has gone, melted away in the night and everything has gone back to normal. School returns.
Today, I was doing some bible reading with my friend Anna over Skype (which is awesome btw, if you don't have it GET IT) and we were going through psalms and realising just how awesome they are. The message versions in particular are so inspiring. I think psalms have a way a putting exactly how you feel into words, like prayers that you didn't quite know how to say. Anyway, this verse of Psalm 119 really grabbed our attention.

"Let your love, God, shape my life
with salvation, exactly as you promised;
Then I'll be able to stand up to mockery
because I trusted your Word.
Don't ever deprive me of truth, not ever—
your commandments are what I depend on.
Oh, I'll guard with my life what you've revealed to me,
guard it now, guard it ever;
And I'll stride freely through wide open spaces
as I look for your truth and your wisdom;
Then I'll tell the world what I find,
speak out boldly in public, unembarrassed.
I cherish your commandments—oh, how I love them!—
relishing every fragment of your counsel."

The line "I'll be able to stand up to mockery because I trusted your word" really spoke to me. So often when people mock me, I let doubt flood me. I have prayed for God to help me and I've realised that what I need to do is spend time reading the bible, so that whenever I am filled with doubt, I will be able to recall God's words and his promises. My feelings change from day to day, but God's word is constant. I know which one I should put my trust in.

Also, I watched The Sound Of Music, and came to the conclusion that telling people about your favourite things feels good :)
Soooo, my favourite book this week was Lord Of The Flies. It was a birthday present from my parents and I hadn't had time to read it till now. It's amazing. The writing is just so brilliant, and the book is so compellingly dark and scary. I really wish we were doing it as our exam novel now.
Favourite song at the moment is I Choose You by Point of Grace, and I'm loving He Is We. They're a really good indie band, just nice to listen to. This is their page on PureVolume:
http://www.purevolume.com/HEISWE
Lastly, favourite TV show was, without a doubt, Glee! It just makes you so happy, and the characters are so funny and loveable. The music is ridiculously good aswell. Don't believe me? Look for the Glee cover of Don't Stop Believin on youtube, it kicks butt ;P

Another Attempt at Poetry :)

A broken heart,
A troubled mind,
These things were mine.
Sleepless nights,
Tormented dreams,
These things I knew.
What is this power,
That sweeps my soul,
From inside out?
He sets me free,
Smashes my chains,
I breathe his name
“Jesus”.
Joy, light, life,
And I am born again.